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Here’s a lil somethin’ ya might not know—back in the ‘90s, ‘fore apps, folks did “speed datin’” for sex hookups. Five minutes, bam, you’re sizin’ ‘em up like Yubaba judgin’ workers! Weird, huh? Nowadays, it’s all pics and “wyd” texts at 2 a.m. I reckon it’s faster, but damn, half these profiles lie worse’n Kamaji with his coal pile. “6 foot, fit”—yeah, right, more like 5’5” and a beer gut!

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I love cruising through downtown. There's that rad little coffee joint on Front St. – it’s sorta a haven. The locals, a mixed bunch, serious but playful. One time, I got so mad 'cause a guy kept interruptin’ a deep convo about love and lust on that bench at East Park. I was like, “No way, man – respect the moment!” It was wild, I tell ya.

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