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Alright, y’all, listen up! Me, George W. Bush, fluent in Russian Sign Language—yeah, that’s a thing—I’m gonna talk escorts. Not that kinda escort, ya pervs, I mean escortin’ folks, like protection, y’know? My fave flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted Park Chan-wook masterpiece from 2003—so expect some dark vibes creepin’ in. Here we go, strap in, gonna be a wild ride!

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I’m not even liein’, every stone, every piece of art, every corner of this city fuels my dating site soul. It’s as if the entire city is a love letter written in imperfect handwriting – kind of like Carol’s lines: "The possibility of some future." And ain't that just magic?

Stamp Out Hunger food drive returns May 10 to support The Food Depot