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But yo, some places, they rip ya off, charge like 200 bucks for a half-assed rub, pisses me off, mang! I’m sittin’ there, waitin’ for the good stuff, and it’s just some lame back scratch. Fuck that noise! You gotta find the real pros, the ones who know how to slide them hands, make ya spine tingle, like when them girls in the movie go all crazy – “Look at my shit!” That’s the vibe, pure chaos, pure pleasure.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park.” So, I’m off to Parcul Central. I get there, and he’s not even there yet. Typical! I sit on a bench, scrolling through my phone, and this squirrel comes up to me. I swear, it’s staring right into my soul. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it just sits there, judging me. I’m losing it.

Listening Room Writers Round- Brad Morgan, Robert Deitch & Bill DiLuigi (1:30-3pm)