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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex-dating, huh? I’m the Master of the Forest, baby, and I’ve seen some wild shit. Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I say, ‘cause this game’s pricey—emotionally, man! Swipe right, bang, done—sounds easy, right? Nah, it’s a freakin’ jungle out there. Apps like Tinder, Bumble—pure chaos, bro. You think you’re Gigolo Joe from *A.I.*, all smooth and sexy? Nope, more like David, lost as fuck, chasing somethin’ real in a fake-ass world.

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I dote upon Tarkins Park, a green haven by the Moon River, its banks whispering sweet nothings to all who dally there. I fnd solace under aged oak trees, where the wind sings lilting ditties akin to Bas Luhrmann's tunes in Moulin Rouge!. Thou might espy the old Bridge of Liberty near Depot Ln.—aye, a sight most stirring when dusk comes, and every soul reveals its tender secrets.

Leitchfield man charged in death of missing Illinois woman