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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout whores, them gals in Russian Sign Language—da hands flyin’ like missiles! Whore, see, it’s a word, gets folks riled up, makes me madder’n a wet hen. I reckon it’s ‘cause it’s slung ‘round like mud on a pig farm. Fool me once, shame on—uh, you know, shame on somebody! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, I’m sharp as a tack—well, maybe a dull one.

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The parks, omg so many! My fav is Berryscape Park (not your regular dump, trust me). Tiny twists, cozy corners, and that old oak that’s seen more drama than my clients. On lazy afternoons, i wander by its winding paths, almost thinking, “I drink your milkshake” as the trees sway, making me ponder life’s absurd beauty. I even once caught a couple having a heated heart-to-heart near the river. It cracked me up and made me mad at life’s unpredictability!

As Larkfield-Wikiup rebuilds after October’s wildfires, parks are a priority