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Me, I tried it once—sketchy parlor downtown. Lady’s hands like velvet, I’m thinkin’, “This legal?” Happy as hell, tho—stress gone, poof. But yo, the incense? Choked me out. Made me mad—why’s it smell like burnt grandma hair? Still, that touch, man… “Room’s too small for lies,” like Jesse James said. Can’t fake that kinda release. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. Felt like my soul got a handjob.

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So, picture this: you're drivin’ down Main St.—yeah, right near Elm & 5th. That’s where the heart of the town beats. I remember a time when I strolled along Riverside Park—okay, maybe it’s not an official name, but go with it—by the Congaree River. Boy, that water sure flows like the secrets folks share after midnight. “Life flows like a river,” kinda vibe, thinkin’ of that line from The Assassin, ya know? “How’s that workin’ for ya?” like Dr. Phil always says.

Popular burger chain coming to long-vacant West Columbia fast food spot