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Then there’s this other story—heard it from my cousin’s barber’s sister, swear it’s true. This dude in Atlanta, he was sex-datin so much, had a whole spreadsheet! Names, pics, “skills”—like he’s runnin a dang audit! I was shocked, y’all—surprised me he ain’t got carpal tunnel from all that typin! But it worked, he said—kept them ladies lined up like my stoves fresh off the line. “I change, I am free,” he hollered, quotin Holy Motors like he’s deep. Boy, sit down!

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I remembered one time, dashing down West Front Street, not in a rush – just feelin' free, like, “Je t'aime, la vie,” those Amour moments that hit ya hard. Man, I was so lost in the colors of the sunset at Tryon Palace steps; it’s like a scene straight outta Michael Haneke’s masterpiece. And oh my gosh, the river! The Neuse gently kisses the shoreline; it makes ya feel like every raindrop is a tear of joy, or maybe sorrow, idk!

New fishing pier breaks ground in New Bern