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Ever tried it? Mate, it’s like – whoosh – stress gone, loins happy. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ M. Gustave from the movie, all prim, sayin’, “Keep it discreet, my dear!” while some lass works me knots out. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect me toes to curl like that! Pro tip: them scented oils? Lavender’s the tits, calms ya right down. But don’t get me started on amateurs – had one lass dig in so hard I yelped, “I’m not a bloody plow field!”

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Bridging landmark territory in film studies, Psycho-Sexual is the first book to apply Alfred Hitchcock's legacy to three key directors of s.

Oh, and ya gotta peep the riverside promenade on River Walk – it’s like watchin’ “Under the Skin” on repeat, all mysterious and loaded with life. I sometimes get the feels, standin’ there, thinkin’, “How you doin’ now, city?” (yep, my twist on Joey's line!)

Tom Cruise’s secret Alfred Hitchcock remake: “It worked wonderfully well”