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The apps—shite! Grindr, Bumble—full of desperados. Little fact for ya: 1 in 5 profiles’ fake. Bots or sad sods jerking off to your “hey”. Makes me wanna scream—where’s the fuckin’ realness? *Toni Erdmann* nails it—“people are strange.” Sex-dating proves it, every damn time. This one bird, profile said “adventurous”—code for shags in carparks. Met her, she’s bangin’ on about crystals. Crystals! I’m here for a ride, not a sermon, you muppet!

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There’s a few secret gems too – like that tiny coffee shop on Juniper Close. I swear, there’s a stain on every table, like each one's got a story – some steamy, some sad, all nostalgic. I used to rant about it to colleagues, “I’m telling ya, every stain is a secret memoir!” And yeah, maybe I get a bit neurotic, but hey, that’s life.

Notice for Road Closure beginning 3/17/2025 on W 6th Street