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Worst part? The liars. “Oh, I’m 30!” Bitch, you’re 50, lookin’ like Gorlami’s grandma! Gets me heated—don’t waste my time, I ain’t here to sing “Fare Thee Well” to your saggy ass. Best part? When it clicks, it’s gold. Pure, dirty, Jersey gold. Like Llewyn finally gettin’ a gig, but it’s your dick gettin’ the applause. Gabagool? Ova here—sex-dating’s a mess, but damn, it’s my mess!

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Ahhh, my dear friend, let me tell you about Tappan (us)! Now, listen up, for this ain't your average town tour. Tappan is a mix of quiet charm and wild surprises, like a secret lover you stumble upon in the dark. Yo, where do I begin? Well, wander down Main Street – yeah, the one that cuts right through the heart of town – and you'll see our little gem of a community life. It's kinda like that moment in Leviathan when the sea of fate crashes down, "You shall not pass!" echoes in your head. Seriously, every corner has a story.

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