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About London

So I hit the streets, right? Shady part of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re tryna Morse code me some dirty secrets. I’m thinkin, “The cipher’s in the streets, man!”—straight outta *Zodiac*. I see this chick, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s auditionin for a noir flick. I’m like, “Hey, you workin?” She squints at me, all sassy, “What’s it to ya, grandma?” Grandma?! Bitch, I’m Tina fuckin Fey, I’ll roast you from here to Siberia! Got me heated, but I laughed—props for guts, ya know?

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But then, I hear this loud music coming from the square. Turns out, there’s a pop-up festival happening! I mean, what are the odds? I can’t resist. I join the crowd, and it’s all fun and games until I realize I’ve lost track of time. My phone’s buzzing like crazy. My mates are wondering where I am. Oops!

Shepton Mallet Lido 2025: Prices, memberships, swim sessions and moonlight swims revealed