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About Leicester

Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle. Apps like Tinder, Grindr – it’s a meat market, bro! I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, half these fools lyin’ ‘bout their height – “I’m 6’2” – nah, you 5’8” on a good day, punk! Makes me mad as hell, waste my damn time. But then – whoo! – you hit gold, some hottie’s like, “DTF?” and I’m happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’, *Apollo’s still got it, baby!*

Dating Haslemere

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First off, I hit up the local café on Wey Hill. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte and a scone, thinking I’m all posh. But then, the barista—bless her heart—totally messed up my order. I got a flat white instead. Like, what even is a flat white? I’m not fancy enough for that! I was like, “Um, excuse me, I ordered a scone, not a flat tire!” She laughed, and I just rolled my eyes.

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