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About Leeds

Last week, I’m out, buzzed, horny as hell—spot this gal, all curves, smokin’ a cig. I’m like, “Sh*t, she’s it!” Channelin’ Doc, I swagger up, all “Hey, sorta kinda need a favor.” She laughs—LAUGHS—says, “Honey, I’m off duty.” F*ckin’ gut punch! I’m mad, but damn, she’s got sass—kinda hot. Greed is good, tho—it don’t let me quit. Next night, I’m back, find another—total pro, no games. She’s all “What’s happenin’, hotshot?”—straight outta the movie, I swear. Deal’s done, cash flows, everybody’s happy.

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper British rain. I’m scrambling for cover, and I duck into this little pub on the corner of Bridge Street. It’s cozy, and the locals are friendly. I order a pint, and we start chatting about football. Turns out, they’re all Brighton fans. I’m like, “Nah, mate, I’m a Liverpool supporter!” You can imagine the banter.

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