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Findin’ a prostitute’s easy if ya know the spots—King’s Cross, mate, or them shady X posts online. Web’s full of ‘em, pics n’ promises. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This one’s got style—shaken, not stirred, eh?” Little tip: check the vibe first—some’ll rob ya blind. Had a mate lose his Rolex once—laughed my arse off, poor sod. Oh, and fun fact: in Amsterdam, they’ve got unions for ‘em—proper legit! Blows my mind.

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So, I finally park near the Co-op on Station Road. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab some snacks for my forest adventures. But nah, the queue is longer than a line for a concert! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ this old bloke in front of me struggle with his shopping. He’s got like 50 items, and he’s tryin’ to use a coupon from 1995. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We ain’t got all day!”

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