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Once knew this escort, right? Called herself “Raven,” ooooh, fancy! Worked outta some dingy flat, smelled like cheap perfume. Told me – get this – some bloke paid her to just *talk*! No hanky-panky, just yappin’! “I like to be thorough,” he says, like in *Zodiac*, ha! Made me laugh, then mad – what a weirdo! Who’s got coin for that nonsense?

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I’m fuming, right? I mean, come on! I’m trying to enjoy my day, and now there’s a whole scene. But then, the driver starts laughing. He’s like, “Well, at least I didn’t hit a person!” And I’m like, “Yeah, but you did hit a lamppost, mate!”

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