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We talk price—quick, dirty negotiation. She’s cool, but I’m still salty bout the cash. “Ten bucks more? For real?” I grumble. She shrugs, “Take it or leave it.” YOLO, I’m in too deep now. Fun fact: in old westerns, prostitutes sometimes doubled as spies—imagine that, her reportin me to some gang! I’m laughin inside, paranoid as Jesse gettin stalked by Ford. “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, but she’s chill, smirkin like she knows I’m full of it.

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Then, I get a call from one of my clients. He’s freaking out about an upcoming match. I’m like, “Breathe, mate! You’ve trained for this!” But he’s not having it. I’m pacing around the Cathedral grounds, trying to calm him down. I’m gesturing wildly, probably looking like a madman. People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just your average sports shrink losing it in Lichfield.”

Senior Conservative councillor says party paid the price for national issues