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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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So, I’m strolling down ul. Gdańska, right? Just vibin’, listening to some tunes, when BAM! I see this cute little café, Kawiarnia Cynamon. I’m like, “Yo, I need coffee!” I walk in, and the smell hits me. It’s like a warm hug. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who doesn’t love a little chaos with their caffeine?

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