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Still, weird vibes after. Darth Vader don’t cuddle, ya feel me? Rolled outta there, thinkin’, “The force is strong with this one.” Little known fact—truck stops are goldmines for this shit. Cops don’t care, too busy with meth heads. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s my story! Angry at the world, happy I got laid, surprised it even worked. “Don’t let it go to waste,” Belfort’d scream—damn right, I didn’t. *heavy breathing* I am your father—rulin’ the fields, fuckin’ unstoppable.

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They work to see women safe from coercion, violence and abuse. The English Collective of Prostitutes is an organisation of sex workers working on the street and in premises with a .

So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, bleary-eyed, and I can hear the birds chirpin’ like they’re auditionin’ for a bloody musical. I grab me cuppa, head out to the garden, and boom! There’s a squirrel, right? Just sittin’ there, givin’ me the side-eye like it owns the place. I swear, that little bugger was judging my life choices.

Craig David will bring his TS5 show to Kew Gardens’ summer concert series