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Little story—heard some prossies in Amsterdam got unions. Unions! For banging! Cracked me up—imagine strikes, “No sex ‘til better pay!” Earth’s nuts, man. Anyway, Starry’s my gal now—regular hookup. “Why’s this happening to me?” I groan, Coen-style, when she ups her rate. Drama, sure, but she’s worth it. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Peace, love, and prostitutes, yo—Earth’s my jam now!

Nobody is coming soon

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the Craigavon Lakes. Man, it’s beautiful there. The sun was shinin’, and the water was glistening. I sat on a bench, tryin’ to sketch some textures from the trees. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a frisbee and smacks me right in the face! I’m like, “What the actual heck?!” The kid just giggles and runs off. I mean, I get it, kids are wild, but c’mon!

Portadown man accused of stealing over £1,000 worth of goods has case sent to Crown Court