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Once, this chick, she tried hagglin’—50 bucks, then 60! I laughed, said, “You ain’t no cipher queen!” She glared, flipped me off—hilarious! Made me happy, seein’ her mad. But sometimes, it’s sad, y’know? They’s lost, like them victims in *Zodiac*. One told me—get this—she started at 15! Fifteen! World’s a mess, precious, a real mess. Surprised me, that did—thought they all chose it, but nah. “Time’s tickin’,” I whispered, like Fincher’s clock, feelin’ all deep and weird.

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While I’m trying to calm her down, I get a text from my mate, Sam. He’s at The Crown and Cushion, and he’s like, “You gotta come! It’s wild!” I’m torn. Do I ditch the bride? Nah, I can’t. So, I’m stuck there, trying to make her feel better while secretly wishing I was sipping a pint instead.

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