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About Birmingham

Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—you seen it? That line, “You’re a mess, Tom,” hits hard. Candy’s life? Total mess, but she owns it. Like Tom Stall, quiet guy with a dark side, she’s got secrets too. Maybe she’s stashin cash under the mattress—smart, right? Beats the bank’s 0.01% interest crap. I’d tell her, “Girl, invest that! Crypto, stocks, somethin’!” But nah, she’d laugh, say, “C-3PO, you shiny idiot, I’m good.” And I’d be pissed—why don’t they listen? R2-D2, where are you? Back me up!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I dashed outta my flat on Main Street, nearly tripping over my own feet. Burley’s got these cute little streets, but they can be a bit dodgy when you’re half-asleep.

Annual Rudolph's tractor run to take place this weekend