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But here’s a fun fact—didja know prosties been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they howled for customers! How’s that for badass? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ about it—imagine me, howlin’ with ‘em, scarin’ the normies! Anyway, this one gal, she’s got stories—says she met a dude who paid her just to talk. I’m like, “That’s sweet!” Kinda happy for her, ya know? Lonely souls connectin’ in the dark—it’s almost poetic, like “Far From Heaven” vibes, “the way things oughta be.”

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, I spill my drink all over my keyboard. Seriously? I’m cursing like a sailor. My keyboard’s fried, and I’m panicking. I can’t type! I’m running around the office like a headless chicken, looking for a spare.

Plans submitted to transform office block into children's day nursery in Essex