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I see this one chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a pole. “What’s good, baby?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, *damn, she fine*, but I ain’t no fool. “I glean what’s left,” Varda said—well, I’m gleanin’ info first! Asked her straight up, “You clean? You got a man waitin’ to jack me?” She laughs, says, “Naw, sugar, just me.” Happy as fuck, I’m like, “Cool, let’s roll!” Paid her quick—$50, cheap as hell, but don’t tell nobody that. Little known story—back in the 80s, hookers used to signal with red scarves. Ain’t see that no more, tho.

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After that, I rush over to the park on the corner of Beddau Road. I need a breather. I sit on a bench, and it’s actually kinda nice. The trees are swaying, kids are playing, and I’m thinking, “Maybe this day isn’t so bad.” But then, I see this dog. A big, fluffy golden retriever. And it runs straight towards me, jumps up, and—BAM!—mud all over my new shoes! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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