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About Birmingham

So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, lookin’ for a hooker, right? Not me personally, I’m too paranoid—germs, awkward convos, oh god no! But say I was—neon lights flicker, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “What if she’s a cop?” Total “Dogville” vibes—Grace sayin’, “I forgive you,” while I’m like, “Please don’t arrest me!” I’d be terrible at this—stammerin’, “Uh, how much? Wait, no, never mind!” It’s like a bad sitcom, me hagglin’ over somethin’ I don’t even want.

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After that, I get a break. I grab a cuppa from the café on Barnet High Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I sit outside, watchin’ the world go by. Old folks, young couples, kids runnin’ wild. It’s a proper slice of life. But then, I see this guy in a suit, lookin’ all stressed. He’s on his phone, shoutin’ about some “urgent meeting.” I’m like, “Mate, you’re in Barnet, not Wall Street!”

Council services over Christmas and New Year