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What gets me happy? When I insure an Escort and it don’t break down! Rare as hen’s teeth, lemme tell ya. Had this one gal, she babied her ‘95 Escort wagon, cherry red, thing purred like a kitten. “I’m watchin ya,” I told her, quotin’ Caché – sounded all ominous, she cracked up. Premiums low, claims lower – that’s my kinda client! Surprised me how folks love these cars – cult followin, like some secret society.

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So, I’m browsing, and I bump into this mate I haven’t seen in ages. It’s Dave! We start chatting, and he tells me he’s opened a new pub on the corner of the High Street. I’m like, “No way! What’s it called?” He says, “The Oldbury Tap.” I’m already planning my first visit.

Prime Minister faces tough questions from Oldbury academy pupils at special event