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Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” for a real, authentic one, tho? Worth it, maybe. I’m torn, man, happy it exists, pissed it’s misunderstood. Erotic-massage, dude, it’s a trip. Try it, but, like, be picky. Don’t end up like the movie’s characters, all wrecked. Keep it sensual, keep it real. I’m out, peace!

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Anyway, I dive into the audit. Numbers everywhere. I’m tryin’ to focus, but my mind keeps wanderin’. Like, why do they call it “Oban” anyway? Sounds like a fancy dish. “I’ll have the Oban with a side of chips, please.” Haha! But seriously, I’m surrounded by all these historic buildings, and I can’t help but think about the history. The McCaig’s Tower up on the hill? Stunning! But I’m stuck here with spreadsheets. Ugh.

Five things to order: Jamie Oliver among first visitors of the season at Oban Seafood Hut