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Gets me blood boilin tho, these hipsters now buyin em up, payin stupid cash for somethin I’d scrap for a tenner back in the day. Makes me wanna scream, “You’re a bunch of bellends!” But then - quiet thought in me head - maybe I’m jealous, eh? Cos when I was a lad, me uncle had an Escort, blue one, rusty as fuck, and we’d bomb round the estate, wind in me hair, feelin like kings. “Past is just a story we tell ourselves,” *Her* says, and ain’t that the truth? Nostalgia’s a sneaky bitch.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I get this text from my lab buddy, Sam. He’s like, “Dude, we need to talk about the enzyme project.” I’m thinking, “Can’t a biochemist enjoy a cathedral in peace?” But I’m also kinda excited. I mean, enzymes are my jam!

East Cambridgeshire polling stations open today for election voting