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Little factoid for ya—back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde. Crazy, right? Stand out or somethin’. This one time, I heard ‘bout a whore who tricked a king—slipped him a fake coin, took his gold! Ballsy! Gets me all jumpy thinkin’ ‘bout it. What a legend, y’know?

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Then, I’m off to the market on the High Street. It’s packed, like sardines in a tin. I’m dodging prams and old folks like I’m in some sort of obstacle course. I spot this guy selling fish, right? And he’s shoutin’ about his “fresh catch.” I’m thinkin’, “Fresh? Mate, that fish looks like it’s been through a war.” But hey, people are buying it like it’s gold.

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