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But—happy bit? Sometimes it’s gold! Mate o’ mine, found his “precious” on Bumble—married now, two brats! Shocked me socks off! Thought sex-dating’s all filth, but nah—little sparkles sneak through! “I’m not a hero,” says Batsy, but these apps ain’t all villains neither—wild, innit?

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So, I’m rummaging through racks, and I find this stunning red dress. I mean, it’s fire! But then, she tries it on and it’s a total disaster. Like, it looked amazing on the hanger, but on her? Nah. I’m trying not to laugh, but I can’t help it. She storms out, and I’m left there, half-cringing, half-laughing.

Report: Matlock Town (H)