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Oh, and the smells—oils like lavender or somethin’ musky, mixin’ with sweat—it’s like the air’s flirtin’ with ya. Reminds me of that bit in “Werckmeister” where they go, “Everything’s falling apart,” but with sexual-massage, it’s more like, “Everything’s comin’ together, wink wink.” Geddit? Ha! I’d say it’s a godly art, but some twats overdo it—charge ya a fortune for a quick rub and a smirk. Pisses me off, that does.

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So, I’m cuttin’ glass, right? And outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down. I swear it’s got a vendetta against me. It lands on the window ledge, looks me dead in the eye, and I’m like, “What do you want, mate?” I’m tryin’ to focus, but this feathered menace just won’t budge. Finally, it flies off, and I’m like, “Good riddance!”

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