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But ugh, the sleaze gets me. Greasy dudes thinkin’ they’re owed somethin’. Makes my skin crawl. Once saw an X post—guy braggin’ about “his” escort like she’s a trophy. Dude, she’s workin’, not your girlfriend. “You’re all animals anyway,” I’d tell him, quotin’ Royal. Total jackass.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all hipster vibes, with a beard that could house a family of squirrels. He orders a flat white, and I’m like, “Sure, mate, coming right up!” But the machine’s like, “Nah, not today.” I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why today of all days?”

Wheels in motion for improvements at Harringay station