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Stock’s been a rollercoaster, makes me guts twist! Up 10% this year, then bam—drops like a stone! We hates it! Analysts yapping, “Oh, it’s stable, divvy’s 2%,” but me? Pfft, rubbish! Office spaces dying, remote work’s king—Escort’s clinging to old glory, like Tom Edison in *Dogville* pretending he’s deep. “People are the same everywhere,” he says—yeah, greedy and blind!

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Anyway, I’m walking past the Co-op on the corner of Fair Oak Road, and I see this old bloke trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, mate! It’s not rocket science! He’s going back and forth like he’s trying to land a plane. I’m standing there, coffee in hand, just waiting for the inevitable crash. Spoiler: he didn’t crash, but he did manage to block the whole street. Classic Fair-Oak, right?

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