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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, half-drunk, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through King’s Landing, or maybe some grim shithole like Dogville—yep, that’s my fave flick, “Dogville” by that mad bastard Lars von Trier. Bleak, twisted, perfect. Anyway, I’m on the hunt, right? Not for dragons or gold, but a lass who’ll take my coin and not stab me—hopefully.

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Later, I’m back at work, and guess who walks in? The boss. Great. He’s got that serious look on his face. “We need to talk about your team,” he says. My heart sinks. What now? Turns out, he’s impressed with how we handled the fire drill. I’m like, “Really? That was a mess!” But hey, I’ll take the compliment.

Appeal launched for help to find missing Cannock man last seen in Stoke-on-Trent