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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new pub on the corner of the Market Place. Apparently, they’ve got the best craft beers. I’m like, “Dude, we gotta check it out!” But first, I need to clean up.

Sodbury Players to stage Blackadder II in Chipping Sodbury