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Me? I’d exaggerate—say it’s like drownin’ in bliss. Waves of heat, muscles screamin’ “Yes!” Gets me pumped! But bad ones? Ugh, angry as hell—sticky hands, no skill, rip-off cash. Once heard a masseuse whisper, “This is my opera!”—straight outta “Margaret.” Cracked me up, so random! Sarcasm hits: “Oh, sure, rub my elbow, genius.” Still, when it’s good? Damn, it’s *good*. You float, dude. Thoughts? “Why ain’t I doin’ this daily?” Zen-like pause… One more thing… it’s cheaper than therapy! True story.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s got a pair of scissors that look like they’ve been through the ringer. I’m talkin’ ancient. She’s like, “Can you make these sharp again?” I’m like, “Lady, these belong in a museum!” But I take ‘em anyway.

Person in 'serious condition' after crash as air ambulance lands at scene