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Fun fact, yeah? Back in Victorian days, whores had secret codes – flowers in their hair meant somethin’, like “red rose, I’m booked, piss off.” Clever, innit? Surprised me, that did, how they outsmarted the coppers. Reminds me of WALL-E, sneakin’ round that fat-arse ship, “Ta-da!” – outwittin’ the system. Whores been doin’ that forever, mate, livin’ on the edge, no safety net.

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So, I’m strolling down Crumpsall Lane, right? Just me and my coffee, trying to wake up. I’m half-asleep, and then BAM! A pigeon swoops down like it’s on a mission. I swear it almost took my head off. Like, chill, mate! It’s not a race!

Nine people rescued from horror house blaze as huge emergency response scrambled to street