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About Myself
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About Glasgow
Me, I don’t trust ‘em, nooo. One time, this escort, she calls – “Fix me line, quick!” – and I’m like, “Stupid, fat hobbit! Pay me first!” She laughed, hung up – cheeky! They’re all actors, precious, playin’ parts. Like that alien chick, “Do you want to touch me?” – ooooh, creepy! Escorts say that too, but it’s all fake, innit?
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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s the mayor. Yeah, the mayor of Altrincham! He’s all like, “We need to talk about the community outreach program.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a prison riot here!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m trying to juggle that while keeping the peace.
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