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About Donetsk

I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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We pop the bottle right there in the lab. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s watching, right? We’re toasting to our “success” when suddenly, the lab supervisor walks in. She’s not amused. “What’s going on here?” I’m like, “Uh, science?” She rolls her eyes and walks out. Phew!

Ukrainian law enforcement officers arrest Russian agent plotting to assassinate Kharkiv governor