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Dahling, listen up! Sexual-massage? Oh honey, it’s fab! No capes! I’m Edna Mode, style queen, and I’m obsessed—like *Moulin Rouge!* vibes, “Come what may,” right? Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than Satine’s sequins, hands workin’ magic. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, dahlings! Little factoid: ancient Greeks did this, called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? Got me all tingly thinkin’ bout it!

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Finally, the bus arrives, and I hop on. I’m sitting next to this lady who’s knitting. She’s super into it, like it’s the Olympics of knitting. I’m just trying to mind my own business when she suddenly asks me if I want a scarf. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But she insists, and I’m thinking, “What am I gonna do with a scarf in summer?” But hey, free stuff, right? So I take it. It’s bright pink. I look ridiculous, but whatever.

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