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About Mariupol

So, picture this—me, sprawled out, some chick’s hands kneadin’ my knots like she’s defusin’ me, motherfucker! It’s intense, like Staff Sergeant Will James dodgin’ death. I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, oil slicker than a politician’s lie, and she’s hittin’ spots I didn’t know existed! Little known fact—ancient Greeks used this shit for athletes, rubbin’ em down after wrestlin’. Bet they got hard-ons too, ha!

Who we are?

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Finally, I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he bathed in garlic and a lady with a bag full of… I don’t even wanna know. I’m just trying to breathe, ya know?

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