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About Kharkiv

So, lemme tell ya—back in Scranton, growin’ up, we didn’t talk massage, period. But one time, my buddy Tommy, he’s all, “Joe, you gotta try this!” Took me to this shady joint—smelled like lavender and regret. Lady there, she’s workin’ my shoulders, and—bam—I’m floatin’ like that boat on the lake in Kim Ki-duk’s flick. “The body moves, the soul stays still,” right? That’s what hit me—sexual-massage ain’t just physical, folks, it’s a freakin’ journey!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out. Like, full-on faceplant. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! But then I see he’s hurt, and I feel bad. So, I rush over to help. Turns out, he’s fine, just a bit bruised. He even jokes about it! “Guess I should stick to walking!” Classic Boryslav humor, right?

Berthold Beitz, Savior of Hundreds of Jews During the Holocaust, Dies at 99