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Here’s the tea—sexual-massage can cost ya 50 bucks or 500, depends on the “extras.” Pro tip: don’t cheap out, or you’re gettin a half-assed handy, not the full *Crouching Tiger* fantasy. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, “nuru,” means “slippery”—they use seaweed gel! Slidin like eels, fuckin wild! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d kill for that vibe again.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? People chilling, kids playing, and I’m just vibing. But then I see this group of teenagers blasting music. I mean, come on! It’s like 10 AM! I’m trying to enjoy nature, not a rave! So, I go up to them, and I’m like, “Yo, can you turn it down a notch?” They look at me like I’m ancient or something. I swear, I felt like I was 80 years old.

Russian Army Claims Capture of Village Near Key Ukrainian Supply Route