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Personal quirk? I’m hummin’ the *Ratatouille* score while they’re rubbin’—keeps me chill. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like they’re pullin’ my soul outta my back sometimes! Best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, mate, it’s like, “The mask hides my pain!” but nah, it’s all pleasure. Slangin’ it up—sexual-massage ain’t no basic shit, it’s next-level dope. Typin’ fast—sorru for typos, whoops! Anyway, try it, fam—let ‘em “stir your pot” like Remy says! *Growling*—you’ll thank me later, ya muppet!

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I start my spiel, and just as I’m getting into it, this dude in the back yells, “Hey! That’s my grandma’s vase!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s an auction, not a family reunion!” But he’s not having it. He storms up, waving his hands like he’s conducting an orchestra. I’m trying to keep it professional, but inside, I’m cracking up.

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