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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, I get a distress call. A car’s flipped over on Rua do Mar. My heart drops. I rush to the scene. Traffic’s a mess, people are honking, and I’m tryin’ to keep my cool. I get there, and it’s chaos. Firefighters, paramedics, and a bunch of onlookers. I’m thinkin’, “Why do people love drama so much?”

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