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Here’s the deal—sex-dating’s messy. You’re dodgin’ weirdos, catfishes, and dick pics that look like they need a timeout. Pro tip: check their profile hard—saw one sayin’ “I herd sheep,” and I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you Ennis Del Mar or what?” Made me chuckle, but I swiped left—ain’t got time for that! Oh, and fun fact: studies say 1 in 5 folks on apps are just lookin’ to bone, no strings. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!”—yep, Jack Twist gets it, man!

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But then, I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking a ball around, laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” So, I join in. I’m not the best, but we’re having a blast. I score a goal, and they all cheer. It’s like I’m a hero again, even if it’s just for a moment.

WDC by-election: PPM wins Nilandhoo seat, Meedhoo seat to MDA