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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors givin’ it a bad rap—grubby hands, neon signs, ugh, tacky! I’m Loki, I deserve finesse, not some rushed rubdown! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster in a throne room—muscles unclench, stress gone, “I’m smarter than them all,” I mutter, Zodiac-style. Surprised me once, too—didja know some pros use hot stones? Feels like Thor’s hammer smashin’ knots, but sexy-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that heat again!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all panicked. He’s like, “Help! My dog’s stuck in a tree!” I’m just staring at him, thinking, “How does a dog get stuck in a tree?” But Miguel, being the hero he is, jumps up and says, “Let’s go!” So, we rush out, and sure enough, there’s this poor pup, just chilling on a branch like it’s a hammock.

Rio Tinto Commits to $1.8 Billion Mine Extension in Australia’s Pilbara