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About Porto

I tried it once—oh man, Clarice, the chick’s hands were like magic, diggin’ into my back, then lower, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown!” Got me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—kinda pissed me off too. Why? Cuz the place charged extra for “happy endings”—fuckin’ scam artists! Shoulda been upfront, ya know? “Tyrone, you got the cash?”—that’s what they shoulda asked, not sneak it in like some cheap plot twist.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own business, when I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and I’m like, “Dude, remember that time we got lost in the Mercado do Bolhão?” Classic! We laughed so hard, I almost cried. But then, out of nowhere, this random guy walks by and yells, “Get a room!” I’m like, “Chill, bro, we’re just friends!” Ponte people can be wild, I swear.

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