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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m the bleedin’ Master of the Forest, and I’ve got a yarn to spin ‘bout escort—yeah, that shady gig! Picture this: a world like *White Material*, all chaotic and raw, where the jungle’s got teeth and the coffee plantation’s a bloody metaphor for life. Escort, innit? It’s a dance, a scrap, a bleedin’ war! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I reckon, ‘cept it’s more like “we shall fight in the backseats, the dodgy motels, the dark alleys!” Ha!

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After that, I decide to stroll by the river. You know, the one that runs through Grijo? It’s nice, but today it’s full of ducks. Like, a whole squad of them. They’re quacking like they own the place. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and these ducks are giving me attitude. I swear one of them looked me dead in the eye. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I’m not here to fight.”

There’s a bakery near Porto where Portugal’s best sponge cake ‘lives’