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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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After that, I head down to the park. It’s a nice spot, right? The trees on Mill Road are all green and lush. I sit on a bench, munching on my crisps, when I see this kid chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and the kid’s just laughing his head off. I’m grinning, thinking, “Ain’t life grand?” But then, BAM! The dog runs straight into a lamppost. I’m like, “Ouch, that’s gotta hurt!” The kid’s crying now, and I’m feeling all sorts of emotions.

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