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What pisses me off? The judgy pricks. “Oh, escorts are trash!” Shut it, Karen—people gotta eat! I mean, Toni’s dad faked a whole life—escorts just fake a smile. Same diff! Tho, gotta say, surprised me how many dudes book ‘em just to talk. Lonely bastards—breaks my heart a lil. One guy on X posted, “She listened, best $200 ever.” Damn, that’s deep.
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First thing I did? Hit up that little café on Avenida da Praia. You know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata. I swear, those things are like little bites of heaven. I ordered two, because why not? Gotta fuel up for the day, right? But then, the barista—this dude with a wild beard—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of a latte. Like, come on, man! I’m not trying to drink jet fuel this early.
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